After my son left the room, I bathed and went to bed. I couldn’t sleep and felt a bit of guilt, disgust, and shame. I was talking in my mind with myself like, “Today you’ve crossed one line and taken him in your mouth. Tomorrow you have to be naked in front of him and take him inside you.” Thinking about this, I was feeling very nervous.

After a long time, I took a trip down memory lane when I got married. I was naive and way too nervous about my wedding and the first night. I was scared to enquire about that to my mom or my grandma. Still, I remember awkwardly asking my friend who got married 3-4 months before me.